Bad Bitches Losing Weight

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The Energy of Love and Safety

Damn girl! You are so friggin' powerful. 

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Today we are talking about the energy of love and safety:

Every emotion has an energy and every energy has a feeling associated with it.

The word "feeling" is often interchanged with "emotion" so for today, I want you to understand that when I speak of emotion I mean "sad", "happy", "excited", "scared."

And when I speak of "feeling" I mean, "tingly", "tightening in your chest", "heart racing" etc.

Emotion = Sad, happy, excited, scared, etc.

Feeling = tingly, tightening in your chest, heart racing, etc.

K? k.

 

I want you to be scared right now...

Go ahead. Feel it. "Act is if" you are scared.

What sensations or feelings do you notice?

Are you breathing faster?

Are you sweating?

Is there a pit in your stomach?

Okay! Okay! Good work. 

 

Now I want you to "act is if" you are loved and safe.

Really engage the energy in your body.

Think about people you love or how you love to receive love.

Is it a hug? Or are you thinking about a specific event in which you felt so loved and safe?

Now, how does your body feel?

Are you tingly? 

Do you feel surrounded and covered in a big fluffy blanket?

You did it!!!! You just cultivated love and safety.

 

The situation was always the same.

Don't forget, while listening to this podcast or reading the shows notes, your situation was always the same.

The world was still in the state that it is in.

Nothing changed but you.

And that's all you can really control, isn't it? You. Continue focusing on that.

 

 

Share your thoughts, feelings, emotions or energies that came up for you while listening to this episode.

You can send Melissa a private DM by clicking here: https://m.me/thebadmelissa

 

To listen to the rest of the workshop, 7 Steps to Fortitude: Release the Fear and Get Your Ass in Gear, click here: https://www.melissaronda.com/7steps-workshop

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FOLG [Fear of Letting Go]

You are a sexy snake. Before you can grow, you must shed your old skin.

"Your skin" is old beliefs, habits, fears, and thoughts that would otherwise be holding you back, aka "your baggage."

Click here for glowed-up show notes: https://badbitcheslosingweight.podbean.com/

Today we are talking about 3 types of baggage:

They can be interwoven.

  1. Physical: An old pair of jeans
  2. A thought: “I’ll do this later.”
  3. A belief: A belief that isn’t serving you is a constriction of energy. It is brought on by a thought or a belief about yourself

A thought: You think a thought. 70,000-90,000 thoughts per day.

A belief is a thought that you hold on to as a truth and operate from that place.

The constriction of energy comes in when a belief that isn’t serving you is so strong and your identity is so wrapped in it that all action and inaction you take or don’t take comes from that place.

Why Let Go of Baggage?

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Possible reasons you've avoided losing this baggage:

 

Lack of time/not a priority: You consider other matters more pressing.

Overwhelm: Don’t know where to start so you put it off.

Out of sight, out of mind: You don’t see it so you don’t think about it.

Not ready to let go: Maybe you don’t want to or maybe it has sentimental value.

Waiting for someone to give you permission: You are waiting for someone else to tell you it is okay to let go.

Didn’t know you were even holding on: You didn’t realize you were even holding on to it.

Didn’t know how letting go would benefit you: You don’t see how letting go of it will positively impact your life.

Lack of Worth: You think you might not deserve better than what you currently have so you keep what you’ve been given. “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.”

Fear of Loss: You are worried that you might not be able to find another you like more so you keep the one you have because it’s better than nothing

Lack of Confidence: You’re worried that if you let go you will need to show up differently. You are concerned about what that might look like and if you will be able to keep it up.

Fear of Rejection: You are worried about what letting go might mean about you or what other people might think about it. This may also look like "a fear of hurting others." You would rather be unhappy than make other people unhappy because your fear of rejection and lack of self-worth are the dominant driving forces.

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MLM Nightmare Exposed

Watch Alex's documentary, The Slave Circle here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyCRzBt7GuY 

 

 

From Fear to Fortitude

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Fear = time machine to the future of what might happen.

 

But does the worry actually change things that are out of our control? Nope.

 

Let fear do it’s job and then tell it to fuck off.

 

  1. Meditation = Sleep Chakra Meditation 
  2. Breathing = micro meditation, lay on couch, close eyes, breathe, bring energy inward
  3. Lavender Oil and Chamomile Tea = any way to signal the senses and attach a feeling to them.

 

Choosing to see the gift in this experience. The ability to grow. I’ve never learn anything about myself when I wasn’t being challenged to change my current state of being.

 

Choosing to Be a Stoic vs Selfish

I grew up with a neurotic mother. It’s hard to remember a situation in which she wasn’t freaking the fuck out about how something was affecting her.

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While on road trips, towing our camper, she would grip the plushy part of the door handle and yell at my father for driving too fast even when he wasn’t.

She was perpetually exhausted leaving no time for genuine concern for her children’s’ feelings or hell, even their interests, except of course if by happenstance your interest aligned with her interest. Then she might give you the time of day.

Or, oh course, when one of her friends was around. Then she would really put on an affectionate show. She was a completely different overly loving person when in earshot of people she would try to impress. Fake mom.

We didn’t respect her as an authority figure because she wasn’t one. We intuitively knew she was off.

Yet I still desired to be a good girl so I spent most of my life consoling her while madly resenting her for it.

In my early 20s, a friend died of a drug overdose. I was crying as one does when they hear of such news. To which my mother replied, “What are you crying about? You are only crying because he was cute.” She was unavailable to allow space for others to feel when it wasn’t about her.

She ruined my surprise wedding shower by blurting out in front of me how excited and nervous she was to show off the location of the party that she wasn’t even planning. Instead of feeling disappointed that it had been ruined, I first pretended like I didn’t hear because I was attempting to control her feelings but ultimately the surprise was ruined and I set about consoling her.

When I purchased a home the compliments I got were about how the house was like her childhood home. She walked around talking about when she “lived on Honoree St.” Then she sat on the only piece of furniture that made it’s way from the moving truck and asked me to get her a Diet Coke while the rest of us brought boxes in.

While in the hospital giving birth, I asked her to leave the room because she didn’t have enough self-awareness to stay calm for my sake. With IV drips in my arms and an epidural in my back, I was trying to keep HER calm.

In between contractions, I could hear her in the hallways making the experience about her. Telling anyone who would listen how nervous she was, including my toddler son.

For some narcissistically bizarre reason, everyone who walked down the hall needed to know that HER gynecologist was delivering HER daughter’s baby, “isn’t that just crazy?! OMG What are the odds, MY GYNECOLOGIST!”

Every experience was about how it was affecting her and it left no room for anyone else. Her selfishness took up all the space.

That day, I made the decision that I wasn’t going to do to my children what my mother did to me. I wasn’t going to allow them to feel unsafe and anxious and responsible for my emotions. I was going to be the mother that I never had.

Right now I am thinking about all of the children all over the world who have a mother like mine, mothers who can’t pull it together to fake it for their kids.

Our children are looking to us to show them how to process this experience and I can’t help but see a bunch of grown-ass adults who are doing a piss-poor job at it.

Are you sitting on the couch eating and binging news?

Are you drinking all day?

Are you addicted to adrenaline and drama?

Are you dumping your worries on your children?

I read a quote once that immediately became my favorite, “If you want to really know if someone is a good person, look to their kids.”

Troubled children become troubled children because they have troubled parents.

Take a look in the mirror.

Building Character in Fearful Times

Fear is an opportunity.

It builds character and grit.

The decisions we make separate us.

A decision is a commitment to a thought.

What though are you going to commit to during this time?

You get to decide.

You get to choose your perspective. Remember, perspective is the way we choose to look at something.

Is this trying time an opportunity to binge because you, “Can’t control myself and what’s the point anyways the world is coming to an end.”

Or it is an opportunity to build a fuckton of grit?

 

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Let’s Create Your First Weight Loss Goal in 4 Easy Steps

Goals are an important part of closing the gap between the way you are showing up and how you know you are capable of showing up.

 

They give our little squirrel-brains direction so that we can pursue Arete [excellence, next-level self]. 

 

Here is how we are going to do it:

 

1. Decide on what you want. Be specific.

2. Decide why you want it.

3. What are some negative thoughts you have about it

 

 

For example: I want to lose 10 lbs but I have so far to go.

Think about this thought as your future self.

 

Does it make sense to sulk on this?

Doesn't it make sense that you need to lose this first 10?

Doesn't it make sense that you will always need to lose this first 10?

Doesn't it make sense that if you don't lose this first 10 and continue to gain that you will need to lose even more?

Doesn't it make sense that this is something you need to do if you want to reach arete?

 

 

4. What needs to happen in order to achieve it. Daily. Weekly. Monthly. Hell, even hourly.

Then start now. The time is always now.  Love you!

 

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People Pleasing Leaves No Time for Weight Loss

Are you an energy slut?
 
Do you give it away for free?
 
To anyone and everyone who asks?
 
And even to people who don't?
 
Do you spend time ruminating on thoughts about other people?
 
Do you try to change what they think?
 
Their experience?
 
What they think of you?
 
Because you care. A lot. Don't you? I totally get it. I love you.
 
Do you say things like:
 
"Why doesn't she just listen to me? It would be so much easier if she did it my way."
 
"He thinks I am so stupid and lazy. I can tell. He thinks I don't know, but I do."
 
"OMG, I hope she doesn't blame this on me. I can tell she is disappointed."
 
"I hate how people judge me so much. They will never be happy no matter how much I do."
 
If so, girl, you an energy slut.
 
Hey, don't worry, I'm the pot calling the kettle black.
 
Sometimes I give all the fucks even when no one asks me to.
 
I assume I need to do more, be more, give more or they aren't going to see me the way I want them to.
 
I attempt to control something that I don't need to.
 
It's usually because I've fallen back into the old pattern of trying to find my worth through "making" others happy in the way that I think they need.
 
Mind you, they are already happy. I'm creating the story that they aren't "as happy as they could be."
 
Then I remind myself. What I give is the perfect amount and, frankly, no one is paying me to worry about them when:
 
I'm driving in my card.
I'm in the bathtub.
I'm at the gym.
I'm laying in bed at night.
I'm cooking dinner.
 
I am enough. I do enough. I am loved as I am. And I don't need to slut around town giving my energy away for free.
 
Neither do you.
 
Who gets your energy for nothin' and your fucks for free?
[Yes, that was a Dire Strats reference. Deal with it. 😂]
[Also, I'm sexy positive and am not slut-shaming, just being colorful]
 
Learn more about Melissa: melissaronda.com
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Coronavirus Epidemic

Coronavirus is pretty damn scary. I certainly wish my family could just work and attend school from home. It may actually come to that. But the fear around the virus puzzles me a bit. I 100% get that a huge part of the fear is "in the known" but that got me thinking about all the dangers we face daily and think nothing of them. Hell, not just thinking nothing of them, but encourage them. Obesity for one. 823 Americans die every.single.day from obesity, yet we "encourage body positivity" with completely false statements like, "You can be healthy at any size". 1,315 Americans die every day from smoking. I would venture to guess that there are plenty of smokers out there who are freaking TF out of the Coronavirus. Well, considering, they actually should be nervous because their chances of dying of Coronavirus are much higher. Don't forget that buying up the hand sanitizer isn't the only way to empower yourself. Boost your immune system by eating well, exercising, water, quality sleep, don't smoke, reduce your weight and anxiety.

 

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Finding Your Purpose

If you walked out of a coffee shop today and got hit by a car and died, would you think you lived your life to the fullest? If the answer is no, you run the risk of dying without ever living to the fullest expression of yourself.

 

Gary V. says, "We have a bad relationship with time." That's an understatement. Most people seemingly pretend time doesn't exist. 

 

We always say, "one day" as if the days are a sure thing when that couldn't be further from the truth. You are love smacked back into reality when someone around you dies or you face your own immortality but more often than not, the further that experience is in your rear-view mirror, you forget all about your revelation. "Oh well, that was just a stupid idea I had that one time." But that's bullshit. That was your sign and you chose to flick it off. You stared in the face of your dharma [your purpose] and told it that it didn't matter. Not because you meant to, but because you didn't believe it was your decision to make. You wait for permission when no one is going to grant it. You let fear win. But don't let that get you down. At any given moment you get to turn your life around. Hell, I didn't even start until I was 34. You've got time!

 

Learn more about Melissa: https://www.melissaronda.com/

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